EMMETT!
by theslow1
Summary: Yep! Emmett's at it again! My inspiration came from reading numorous fanfictions, some listed in Forever Whole. But anyway, got the idea during dinner and just HAD to do it! So please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**

**Me: HAHA! EMMETT'S AN IDIOT! BUT HE ROX MY SOX!**

**Emmett: Bailey! I can see the words you say! Why?!**

**Me: I don-**

**Emmett: YOU SPELLED ROKS AND SOKS WRONG!**

**Me: So did you. Plus, I don't have to spell it right. No one's gonna arrest me for it!**

**Emmett: *dumbfonded expression***

**Me: *thinking* _Bad idea_**

**Emmett: HEY! NOW I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO- OOOOOO! SUGAR!!!!!**

**Me: *thinks* _Okay, maybe not_**

**Me: *whispers to Edward* See that? I just made him do that! So now I own Twilight! YAYAY! Now, to ruin two certain packs lives. **

**Edward: You don't own Twilight.**

**Emmett: SUGAR! GIVE ME THE DAMN SUGAR, FUCKING CABINET!**

**Me&Edward: *slaps forehead***

* * *

**Emmett's POV**

"Emmett! We're leaving! Don't be a pain while we're away. I'll know, trust me." Everyone was leaving me with Bella. _Joy..._

"Behave Emmett!" _Ich bein ein berliener! _"What?" _Ich bein ein berliener!_ "Oh, never mind Emmett!"

"Rose! Don't leave me!" I lunged for her leg.

"Emmett! Get the off of me!" I clung on tight. "Emmett! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

"Don't go! Ich bien ein berliener!"

"Emmett, do I even want to know?"

"Ich bein ein berliener!"

"Good-bye, Emmett."

"Ich bein ein berliener!"

"Good-bye."

"ICH BEIN EIN BERLIENER!"

"GOOD-BYE EMMETT!" Then quitely, "Hurry! Before he gets some brilliant idea!" She tried to usher the others out the door.

"WHY WON'T YOU EXCEPT IT?! ICH BEIN EIN BERLIENER!" Then a brilliant idea struck me.

"Don't even _think_ of it Emmett." Dumb future-seeing vampire.

"ROSE! BITE ME! I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE JUST LIKE YOU! THEN I WON'T BE A PAIN ANYMORE!"

**Bella's POV**

Was he trying to make fun of me? I seriously didn't sound like that. Right? _Of course, Bella. You don't sound like that! _Right...

"Right... He won't be a pain... Uh-huh..." Rose whispered as quietly as possible to the others.

"WAIT, ROSE! I WROTE A SONG FOR YOU! ALL BY MYSELF!" He took out a CD from his back pocket. It looked pretty professional. I was impressed. Key word: was. "HERE! I EVEN GOT YOU A CD PLAYER! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT NOW!" From nowhere, he pulled out a huge stereo. I hoped it didn't come from his back pocket. That would be unbelievable. I decided to check his pants later tonight.

"Emmett! I don't have time!"

"WATCH IT!" That made everyone jump.

"Okay, okay. Yeesh..." She let her husband pop the CD into the stereo. Then he went to the correct sound track number and cranked up the volume to full. "Um, Em, how many songs did you write exactly?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS! IT'S KISS A GIRL!" Kiss A Girl? Then he pressed play. Kiss A Girl? Wasn't that by Keith Ur- The music blared and everyone covered their ears. Except Emmett, of course. He was singing along. And boy did his voice surprise to me. Being a vampire and all, you might think his voice would sound amazing but he sounded like a mixture of a siren, nails on a chalkboard and a tornado.

"EMMETT! SHUT IT OFF," Everyone screamed. He didn't seem to hear. This went on for about an hour. He kept hitting replay and everyone kept covering their ears and yelling for him to stop. What should have been obvious always caught us off guard. When the song would end, everyone would remove their hands and sigh. Then he would have it replay and everyone would go back to a similar position. Finally, everyone decided to go to the highest level. You could still here the music but only like you were in the same room as it but had it on at a regualr volume. Then there was a huge BOOM and then someone screamed.

"EMMETT," Rose screeched.

"WHOA... LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!"

"LET'S NOT!" I was sure Emmett was about to be bitch slapped. But then it was utterly quite, except for the ringing in my ears. I was sure my ear drums had burst.

Alice's eyes glazed over. "He didn't! OMFID! HE DID! ROSE!" At that, she ran downstairs screaming Rose the whole time. I sighed, both in relief and exasperation. Yep, nice and loud. Joy...

"Edward," I started to whine. "Do I _have_ to stay here with the dim wit? This has mistake written _all over it_!"

"No, don't be silly! Emmett is mature ebough ot behave!" Then he saw my face. "Ya, you're probably right." I slapped my forehead and groaned. "Now come on. Let's go see what the matter is."

"I'll bet you already know," I muttered. He only chuckled.

**Emmett's POV**

My stupid, moradic mind that I loved soooooo much had gotten me caught. Shit.

* * *

**LOL! Ya, I know a lot of people have written stories centered around Emmett and hthe stupid, moradic brain of his that he seems to love SOO much. But I just HAD to write one! Hit me when I was eating. Ya, that happens to me a lot. I'll get really good ideas during the strangest times. Ich ein bein or whatever Em kept saying means something like I'm a jelly donut or something. I can't remember off the top of my head. LOL. It's in my profile. So, ya. Short chapter, sorry! And this takes place in Eclipse. I WAS considering making Bella a vampire but then I decided against it. More fun when she's a weak, clumbsy human. Am I right? Am I right? Thought so. Um... Ya. R&R please! Five reviews and I continue. 'Less I get to excited. And I need some ideas, if you please. And also, please tell me how much this stinks or how much it makes you pee your pants. I doubt that will happen but.**

**-3- Future Mrs. Cullen -3-**


	2. IMPORTANT NOTE

**IMPORTANT NOTE**

**Okay, sorry this isn't a chapter. It was orignaly going to be one but, it is 36 minutes into the 20****th**** of june. IT'S EDWARD'S BIRTHDAY! OME! I'M SO EXCITED! SO, I COULDN'T NOT EGNOLEDGE IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT! So, what are you all doing today? Anyone going to see their anti-Twilight cousin's dance recital? I AM! So, happy birthday to Edward! XD**


End file.
